By Heather Patenaude
Many people told us that life changes after kids come. It’s true. There’s no way to deny that children demand and need a lot of attention. They can do nothing on their own when they are little and as they grow parenthood challenges you in areas you didn’t know you were going to grow. (I like to say motherhood gives you gray hairs!)
As moms it’s easy to become overwhelmed, over touched, and overly exhausted! Our emotions hang on by a thread some days and we can feel like a shell of who we used to be. Then along comes our dear husband with that twinkle in his eye. How are we to respond?
First, let’s back up. If we are not making physical intimacy with our husband a priority it can become a check list item. Or we will avoid it all together. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses marriage and he states in verse 5: “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
If we are not being intentional to create an atmosphere to connect physically with our husbands, our response can be anything but selfless and sweet when they have that twinkle in their eye. So, I ask — If you are finding it difficult to connect physically with your husband, examine what you are spending your emotional, physical, and mental energy on. Discipline, diapers, friends, ministry, and social media can all scream for our attention. Not to mention meals, laundry, bathing babies, and dishes! Our calendars can be so jam-packed that others areas suffer.
And we may find that when we are at home all we can see is everything we need to do. This zaps us of the energy to be intimate with our husbands. In order to make time for my husband I have to be aware that how I spend my time or what I allow to drain me or not, because it will effect our time. If I know that he is longing for connection with me I will avoid those things that steal emotional and physical energy for him. This may me avoiding too many things on the calendar or stepping away from those actives that pull at my energy. It also means TURNING off the TV at night when the kids are in bed.
There is sex after kids; we just have to make it more of a priority. If it is not a priority you can easily make excuses and avoid all together! If you are in a rut, we hope you take the Mom Sex Challenge (coming February 15th) and be more intentional with your sex life!
HEATHER PATENAUDE is passionate about living a Christ-centered life. This passion flows over to being a wife to John and a homeschool mom to: Miles 7, Luke 6, and Clark 3. Heather is “doing” motherhood right along the side of most of you and hopes that she can encourage you to look beyond your “bath time” challenges and embrace the beautiful calling of motherhood!
